Honestly, I don’t remember how old I am. I know I was born in ’87, so doing the math, I think I’m gonna be 36 this year. I am a first-generation American. My parents are both from the Dominican Republic. I ended up moving to New Jersey from New York when I was, like, thirteen years old, and it was a different experience, leaving all the friends that I had there. But I got to the Bronx, and even though it was very new, I remember it all being good.
And my favorite childhood memory? It’s an embarrassing but a favorite one. I remember in the Bronx, hanging out with my friends in the summer. I remember just playing in this basement, and all my friends and I would go down there, and we played baseball, dodgeball, kickball—you name it. But we didn’t have an actual bat or ball, and we used some 99 cent balls. I think our innocence from then makes that my favorite childhood memory.
Well, in terms of security I want to say since 2010. There was a break—so, 2010 till now, with a four-year gap in between. I’ve been a doorman for five years.
I’m a graphic designer. I did fine arts, and I was a mechanic when I was in the army, too. Right now, I actually have a project car. My brother-in-law completely screwed up his car. It used to be my wife’s car—a little white Honda Civic—and now I’m completely rebuilding it. That’s like my hobby. Besides that, I wanna say my side job, which is real estate. I really enjoy it. I do that as a hobby, too. But what’s more, you know, it’s making me money. Meanwhile, the other jobs that I do aren’t making me money at all, but I enjoy doing it.
Honestly, it’s the military. Anybody who’s been through—let’s call it hard times—can appreciate the good times. It changed me a lot, and honestly, it’s one of the reasons why I am the way I am. Not only because I feel like life is short and my own morals, but the truth is that in the military, it used to piss people off to see other people joyful and happy. Because it ticked them off, I did it more purposely. And then it just kind of stuck. It was hard at first. And then it became like a tweak. I also learned to appreciate the day-to-day. When I was in the military, I couldn’t choose what to eat, and when I came back, I could eat my mom’s cooking. And have a second plate. Little things like that. I learned to appreciate it more.
The kids are growing up very differently from how I did. Living in the suburbs instead of the Bronx, they see animals; they see everything. The oldest is doing well in school–it focuses more on personal development than honing in on academics, and that seems to be going great. And our youngest is about to start school. The wife? We actually met at work, at my second job, when I was working at Burger King. I was just being a flirt the whole entire time. Then I found out she had a boyfriend and was like, “Oh, come on.” Then they broke it off because he lived in one state, she lived over in Jersey, and then I just swooped in. And we’ve stayed together since.
Family first. We don’t always stick to it, but that would be the model. No matter what, we gotta help our family no matter what.
So, I ended up taking all the classes and putting all my fingerprints in and everything in and paying for everything. Because I was a veteran, they gave me a lot of consideration, and I passed my actual exam, but that doesn’t change for anyone. Nothing really much has changed, but now I can brag. I can say I’m an expert in the field.
To be sincere, my day is pretty boring. But that’s one of the things that I love so much about it. I know what to expect, and even when something that I don’t expect shows up, I pretty much just take care of it. I come in, get the packages. After that, same as always. Greet everyone, say hello, and see if they need any help or have messages to relay to the next guy. My favorite part about being here has to be the people because the job itself is kind of monotonous. People tell me all the time what’s going on in their life, and I’m like, “Okay, that’s interesting. Oh, okay.” It sounds weird, but we did that a lot in the military, people-watching. That’s pretty much what it is now. Except instead of me just guessing, they kind of tell me.
We’re all hard-headed. So, what I try to instill in my kids now is just not giving up. Keep going and just persevere. When things don’t work out, just see if you can improve upon it. You only go so far into failure before you hit success. We’re all gonna fail. But at the end of the day, it’s all about what you do with that failure. Another thing: When it comes to goals, make sure to break them down step by step so you can feel yourself making progress.
It’s hard for me to think that far. Let’s say, in a couple of years, I wanna be retired and everything else, but that seems like an ordinary goal. I also wanna see my kids grow up. I don’t necessarily care about success, but I want them to be able to persevere on their own. Does that make sense? Not necessarily not having any problems, but instead having the mental capacity to just move on. To keep going and don’t think about anything else.
My proudest achievement? Honestly, just getting through the military. Because there were so many times I wanted to quit, but I just toughed it out. I said to myself, “You know what? This is only one day.” Even though the days became weeks and months, it was just one of those things where I felt like I could make it and keep going. Then, I was surprised when I finished my first contract and kept going because I hit that point where I saw the good times. I started to work with the officers, captains, majors, and everybody else, and we coordinated to a point where I was having fun. It wasn’t monotonous work anymore, and me and the guys I was with ended up having more fun, too. The physical fitness still sucked, but that wasn’t as bad as before, either. So, once I proved myself early on, and I actually got a little bit up there, it didn’t suck as much. I think my closing rank was SSG Silvestre, which was Staff Sergeant. That was like the end. I was like, “Nah. I’m done.”
It sounds boring, but just popping open a cold one, spending time with the kids, and watching TV. I used to take those things for granted. Now, it’s almost like a vacation, and it’s my favorite way to just relax. And if I can’t sit still, I’ll turn to my hobbies. I’ll work on cars. I’ll work on my paintings. I’ll design a logo for someone.
I keep everything separate almost on purpose. So when I’m at work, I’m at work. As soon as my shift is done, that’s it. That’s the great thing about this job–I’m not dealing with paperwork or calls after work, but people during my hours. Dealing with people is easy. Then, once I get out of here, I’ll see you again tomorrow. Also, I always suggest just thinking about what’s putting you down, thinking about what’s really tormenting you, and then trying not to give it too much attention. Once you do that, everything seems so simple. Once you break down what’s stressing someone out, you can figure out how much importance it has. Then you can think, “Does it really affect your life that much?” You gotta look at the grand scheme of things. Life keeps on going, you know? Why overthink and overstress?
The truth is I’ve gotten a lot of advice, but the only meaningful advice I’ve gotten is from the military. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gotten a lot from my family, but with the military, we have a saying: People don’t care. Once I heard that, I changed my mindset and became more focused on persevering. And another thing, nothing is ever too hard. Break your goals down into smaller steps. Then, the little things are really where you can find happiness. And another thing: not everybody can have what you have, so you have to be grateful. Some people have a bike, then they want a car. Then, after they have a car, they want a sports car or a luxury car. Then, they want an airplane. And then the guy who has an airplane just wants to go back to having a bike. It’s like, it seems like no one’s happy. So you just gotta appreciate what you got and just kind of be content. I can honestly tell you one of the things, one of the secrets for me is that I feel very content with whatever I have. Sure, if I can buy a house, if I can own a business and make millions of dollars, that’ll be great. But I don’t need it. I have satisfaction, or I have happiness with what I already have. So, if I get more, great. If I lose something, I’m just going to be happy with what I still have.
I like drinking with my family. My family is filled with characters. You can literally just put it like that. It’s filled with characters. There are a lot of comedians, and we’re very open with each other. So, we kind of relax a bit and get lost in our humor. That’s pretty much it.
Believe it or not, I think it’s being with family and friends. That’s literally it. We could literally be in a park, doing nothing except talking, and that makes me feel at peace because I feel a connection. Back in the day, being at peace with them was something like playing on the PlayStation or going skydiving. But now, I’m like an old man. I just want to sit down and chit-chat with people. That’s literally it. That feeling, that connection with people, that’s all you need. It’s almost like a secret to life, you know? Just having connections, even if it’s a small one with somebody you just met one time.
